Why are we skipping out on Sundays? A thought or two from Dawn

From trying to figure out our ‘non-relationship relationships’ with guys (that’s a post in itself!) to helping each other cope in the cubical, Dawn Vargo and I have spent countless hours trying to make sense of our ‘hot-disaster,’ 20-something lives. (Somehow Starbucks usually works its way into our solution set! And... yes...the baristas are our bffs)

Dawn will be a regular blogger for re:Generations. She makes her smashing debut below, tackling the loaded question, 'what's behind the 20-somethings' church-avoiding trend?' I hope you enjoy her thoughts/perspectives as much as I do. Welcome, Dawn!

"Some of the biggest complaints 20-somethings have about church is the judgmental and hypocritical attitude of churchgoers. Of all the words that characterize people who have been transformed by God's grace and compassion, judgmental and hypocritical should not make the list. If the message we are trying to give is so radically different than the description of church-goers, where have we gone wrong? Could it be that this perception is related to our confusion over the essentials vs. the preferences?

For instance, I attended a school where a dress code of skirts for the girls was given the same level of importance as attending church on Sunday. In other words, this preference was elevated to a level of morality that simply wasn't substantiated with Scripture. Regardless of what the leadership said about the dress codes' usefulness for a variety reasons (professionalism, modesty, and other good points), the importance they placed on that preference (i.e., their actions) simply didn't match up.

This example – trivial as it may seem – could be an example of the larger issue involved here. When we confuse the main and the plain things with the peripheral and preferential issues, this younger generation might start to say "no" to the apparent confusion, contradictions, and seemingly hypocritical way we seem to approach our faith.

Another reason that we may be seeing the drift away from church could be that we are so concerned with making our Christian faith cool, hip, and relevant. That might seem like a contradiction – after all, isn't the point of being "relevant" to reach out to the people who wouldn't normally be in church? Well, yes. But there is a serious danger in losing the essence of Christianity when we try to conform Christ and Scripture to the culture around us. Christ never called us to be popular or to give people a message that would be comfortable. His calling is a holistic, life-altering, radical, sacrificial and sometimes painful alternative to the ease around us. Our lives are to be totally and completely his – for whatever purpose He sees fit.

Sadly, when I look around at our comfortable Christian subculture it often looks like a less fun, more rules-oriented version of the world. And let's face it – why would someone make the effort to go to church to have a disingenuous and more constraining version of something that looks more genuine and fun?

When you start to add up these problems – and many more that I don't have time to go into – why would someone choose to spend a morning with "those" people when they could be sleeping in, hiking, camping, or just relaxing? (NOTE: coming from a person who skipped out on church last weekend for a camping trip, I'm not suggesting you're unspiritual if you occasionally trade in the pew-warming for a bonfire and communing with God in his amazing creation.)

Hopefully this will give you a place to start your thinking in these areas – and what we can do to change this trend."

Dawn Vargo is a bioethics analyst for Focus on the Family Action in Colorado Springs, Colorado.