Why are 20-somethings skipping out on Sundays? IV

I know; I know… it’s about time for a new topic. But, quite honestly, I’m captivated by this question. So please forgive my ramblings.

I love going to God’s house to worship, and to study His Word. It’s the fellowship part I struggle with most. One Sunday school door is labeled ‘college class.’ Its next-door neighbor is called ‘single and mingle.’ (Cringe, cringe, cringe!) Life after college is drastically different, as we all know. And single groups… well… if only I had time to share my horror stories involving hula skirts, 40-year-old men and fish. Need I say more?


As a single, 26-year-old woman, I feel like I’m an awkward fit in the church…and often life in general. I think many of my peers feel the same way. And so, when Sunday morning rolls around, it’s all too easy to hit the snooze button or to show up for the main service, and jet out the door after closing prayer.

Not all 20-somethings make it that far. Many quit going to church after high school, and want nothing to do with Christianity. In their new book unChristian, authors Dave Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons find 16-29 year-olds have a very bad impression of the Christian faith. When asked to describe it, here’s what my generation had to say:

#1 Anti-homosexual: 91% outsiders, 80% churchgoers

#2 Judgmental: 87% outsiders, 52% churchgoers

#3 Hypocritical: 85% outsiders, 47% churchgoers

#4 Old-fashioned: 78%outsiders, 36% churchgoers

Outsiders = those looking at the Christian faith from the outside. (Atheists, agnostics, those affiliated with a faith other than Christianity, and other un-churched who are not born-again Christians)

Other significant findings:

Nearly two out of every five young outsiders claim to have a “bad impression of present-day Christianity.”

Only one out of seven outsiders describes Christianity as something that seems genuine and real.

Just one-third believe that Christians show genuine interest in them.

FYI: there are about 24 million outsiders in this country who are 16-29.

In summary: many in my generation feel that Christians are more focused on converting them, than getting to know them as human beings.

What’s the take-away for your church, ministry or non-profit?

Provide a Christ-centered community for young adults.
(Remember we are often away from home, dislocated from structure, and making significant life decisions. We need your help.)

Build meaningful relationships with my generation.
(Meet us where we are, even if we have a tattoo or two!)

And, don’t forget…stick to the truth, mentor and pray.

Why are 20-somethings skipping out on Sundays? Tres.

The question has pierced the heart of the congregation at First Baptist Church in Bristol, Virginia. They formed a task force to start the most important step in reaching 20-somethings: PRAYER. I had the great pleasure of speaking to the group on Thursday.

(My fabulous Millennial intern, Lea!)

Most 20-somethings pledge an allegiance toChristianity: 78-percent, to be exact. But one peek at our Facebook profiles reveals the association is only words deep. Our actions, lifestyles and choices aren’t backing it up. What’s going on?

Consider the fact that we have no foundation on Biblical truth. The only truth we know is socially constructed. (We’re finding that version is flawed) We just missed the apologetics movement, and we don’t know how to intelligently articulate or defend our faith.

The natural progression is to make decisions based on what feels right, or causes the least amount of conflict. Faith in God fits half that bill. So we keep Him on an individualistic level, sacrificing the life-support that comes from being connected to a body of believers.

I don’t think there’s an ‘A+ B = C’ formula to get 20-somethings back in church, nor should there be. But, I do think we’re off to a great start. Remember…

PRAY. For wisdom, discernment and vision.

TRUTH. We’re searching for it. Don’t water it down. Let us dig deep.
‘Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’ -1 John 8:32

TOGETHER. It takes you. And me.

More to come soon!

Happy Father's Day!

He was an All-American athlete (in 3 sports) in high school. He was equally successful in the classroom. He was a football star at Virginia Tech, and left behind a linebacker legacy at Lane Stadium. He married the love of his life… and traded in his jersey for Barbie dolls, curling irons and volleyball courts when the girls came. His resume includes prestigious titles like ‘President’ or ‘Founder,’ Sunday school teacher, deacon, and school board member. But it’s his faith that people really talk about.

This man is my hero. He’s also my dad: Mike Stollings.

Dad was there for all the bumps and bruises that accumulated the day I rode my first big girl bike. He cheered me on for 8 straight hours until I final peddled without training wheels! (He documented the whole thing on video, of course!)

Then there was the Saturday he cleared out our garage so I could practice my over-hand serve for Middle School volleyball tryouts. I made it! That meant Saturday practices at 8:00am. Not bad, except the gym was an hour away from home! Some of my fondest memories were those 6:30am commutes with dad. (‘film line!’)

Dad was at all my volleyball games through high school and college. Whether I made a play of the day, or got taken out of the game, his response was always the same. He would look at me, smile, and lift his pointer finger in the air. That was his way of reminding me to play for an audience of one.

Dad’s support of me went far beyond the court. He was at every one of my extra-curricular activities or award ceremonies. He was also there to hold me through life’s heart aches and tears.

I’ve grown up a little and moved from the court to the career. But what I’ve found is: I need my dad just the same.

Now he’s become my personal U-Haul driver and packer for three major moves. (One includes 24 hours with a 16-week-old, hyper-active puppy)

Then there was my latest drama: an unexpected back surgery. The sleepless nights and physical limitations that followed were a challenge. Whether 4pm, or 4am… dad never left my side.

He’s sacrificed a lot to help me pursue the dream God’s put on my heart. From filing papers to reserving domain names, once again… dad has been my rock.

And, although, I only live 15 minutes from my parents… dad always texts me to make sure I arrive home safely. I play it off as silly. But, deep down, I think it’s the sweetest thing ever!

My dad embodies a life dedicated to faith, family and FUN! He is the most genuine, Godly, humble, selfless and successful man I have ever met. I love him with all my heart.

Thank you, dad, for all you do for mom, me, Emily and Allie-Kate. We are blessed. Happy Father’s Day!

Lights, camera, action; a re:Generations photo shoot

These are my friends. They are teachers, social workers, editors... and the faces of re:Generations.

This image is just one of the many fabulous pictures my friend, Matthew John, captured behind the lens. (Thanks, MJ!) The pics will be used in re:Generations promotional materials, and you can check them out by clicking on the link below. Enjoy!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2189087&l=837f9&id=17021329

Ps- Are my friends good lookin' (insert east TN accent) or what?

Lea's Weekly Update- Week #1

Hello all! I am Lea Williams and I am new to the whole blogging experience, so bear with me. I started working with Jessica this week at re:Generations and think this information is super cool and interesting! Over the summer, I will be sharing this information with you by posting weekly blogs featuring Millennials in the news. It's what I have dubbed "Lea's Weekly Update." So here we go and I hope you enjoy...

Media bombardment is taking its toll

A Fox News report titled, Young Adults Hit by 'News Fatigue,' Study Finds discovers that over-played updates and breaking stories every minute, steps taken to capture the short attention span of Millennials, are having quite the opposite effect. It's wearing us out.

A key finding was that participants yearned for quality and in-depth reporting but had difficulty immediately accessing such content because they were bombarded by facts and updates in headlines and snippets of news.

"Our observations and analysis identified that consumers' news diets are out of balance due to the over-consumption of facts and headlines," said Robbie Blinkoff, co-founder and head anthropologist at Baltimore, Md.-based Context Research Group.

We're ready for depth. If you offer it... we will come. :)

And... Millennials are benevolent?

That's the case according to, "Study: Millennials just as willing to give,". The article, I found in the Western Michigan Business Review, reveals Millennials are willing to donate to organizations. The missing link is effective messaging.

"It's more of a communication issue," said Marie Gajewski, a researcher with the Dorothy A. Johnson Center for Philanthropy and Nonprofit Leadership at Grand Valley State University.

"Its like any other transition-- foundations and philanthropic organizations need to think about what issues are important to those donors and how they want to be communicated with and all of the other complexities that go into their fund raising," Gajewski said. "The needs of the market are changing. Organizations are having to adapt to that change and the way they raise funds."

That's great news for non-profits. Remember, effective communication is the key to reaching Millennials. Do you know my generation well enough to speak our language? It's a worthy cause...

"The Millennial generation is the next Great generation," [Grand Rapids Community Foundation Marketing Vice President Roberta] King said. "They are very engaged in doing things to make the world a better place, and they are very conscientious."

And that's your weekly update!

Now its your turn. Check out the articles (click the title of the article and it will bring you to the link) and leave me your thoughts...

Why are 20-somethings skipping out on Sundays? Part dos

Churches and parachurch organizations across the map are starting to take this question seriously. And they should. We’re losing a generation of believers, and the future of the church and Christianity is at stake.

Forward thinking…

I would argue, based on research, observation and personal experience that the 10-20 year forecast for the church looks bleak. It’s time to turn the tide. Proverbs 19:18 talks about having vision. Without it, people perish.

A vision inventory…

What is our vision for the church? What are we doing to develop the rising generation of Christian leaders? How are we helping Millennials/20-somethings live out their faith in a culture that blatantly rejects it? Are we uniting generations, or dividing them?

I know, I know…

It’s no easy task. Our generational patterns and preferences are as different as night and day. Reaching out to my Facebook friendly, slightly self-absorbed, but totally cool generation :) is intimidating and a bit uncomfortable. But, it’s Biblical. Check out Titus 2:1-6

Understanding: the starting block

Marketers spend thousands of dollars researching and getting to know their target audience. The goal? Making their products appeal to a felt need. Hmm… interesting concept for the church (minus the $ Bling $ of course!) I’m going to focus the next few blog posts on my generation’s views of Christianity and the church, letting you inside our heads so to speak. I hope this helps you get to know us on an intimate level, and provides a springboard for discussion.

Until next time…

I leave you with J. Dys’ thought-provoking response to the '20-somethings MIA on Sunday morning’ post. It warrants front-page status. Enjoy!

Do you think that 20-somethings are leaving church b/c it lacks the theological rigor they are looking for?

Now, mind you, I do not believe any of them are going to answer Barna’s question that way, but, if read between the lines, I sense it would come close to that. We have created a half generation of adults that have known nothing but “seeker-sensitive” churches, entirely devoid of doctrine, it seems. In fact, many churches refuse to generate any theological statement for fear of being exclusive – as if Christ wasn’t. Theology, they say, is the stuff of old men and boredom, not youth and “experience.” What is left, is the Church competing against every other experience this world has to offer – most of which are decidedly more exciting and (let’s face it) pleasurable than most Churches.

So, my theory goes, if given the choice, the 20’s are going to jet for the door. In a last ditch effort to block their exit, Churches are going out of their way, often, to win them back. They add robotic lights, 3 or 4 more guitars to the stage, the pastor sheds the tie and goes grunge, and Sunday School shucks the catechism for a Starbucks.

While there is nothing intrinsically wrong with guitars, lights, thread-bear jeans, and over-priced coffee, it seems what Churches have done is create a false environment. They have created the illusion of worship, but not seen to the substance of it. The 20’s, like Pinocchio and the lost boys, have seen the glimmer and glam of the lights, not realizing the façade has no backing. It seems we are using “stunts” that are little more than worms on hooks to attract the 20’s and others to church. Should we be surprised when they run from the pain in their mouths? Is the gospel unattractive?

What the 20’s crave - correct me if I’m wrong - is substance far and against the emptiness that every other “experience” has to offer. While they talk a good game about “meaning, feelings, and justice,” all are but catch-words for post-modern emptiness – which itself cries for an absolute answer when pressed!

Sure, the church will not live or die by man-defined theology or catechism; but, I would think if we would take a lesson from the Reformers and re-grasp the doctrine of the Bible (sola scriptura), even the 20’s would be excited at the challenge.

I think they’re smarter than those who would have them be attracted by the lights and other shiny things give them credit for.

Disclaimer: I’m all about the over-priced coffee. :)

Why are we skipping out on Sundays? A thought or two from Dawn

From trying to figure out our ‘non-relationship relationships’ with guys (that’s a post in itself!) to helping each other cope in the cubical, Dawn Vargo and I have spent countless hours trying to make sense of our ‘hot-disaster,’ 20-something lives. (Somehow Starbucks usually works its way into our solution set! And... yes...the baristas are our bffs)

Dawn will be a regular blogger for re:Generations. She makes her smashing debut below, tackling the loaded question, 'what's behind the 20-somethings' church-avoiding trend?' I hope you enjoy her thoughts/perspectives as much as I do. Welcome, Dawn!

"Some of the biggest complaints 20-somethings have about church is the judgmental and hypocritical attitude of churchgoers. Of all the words that characterize people who have been transformed by God's grace and compassion, judgmental and hypocritical should not make the list. If the message we are trying to give is so radically different than the description of church-goers, where have we gone wrong? Could it be that this perception is related to our confusion over the essentials vs. the preferences?

For instance, I attended a school where a dress code of skirts for the girls was given the same level of importance as attending church on Sunday. In other words, this preference was elevated to a level of morality that simply wasn't substantiated with Scripture. Regardless of what the leadership said about the dress codes' usefulness for a variety reasons (professionalism, modesty, and other good points), the importance they placed on that preference (i.e., their actions) simply didn't match up.

This example – trivial as it may seem – could be an example of the larger issue involved here. When we confuse the main and the plain things with the peripheral and preferential issues, this younger generation might start to say "no" to the apparent confusion, contradictions, and seemingly hypocritical way we seem to approach our faith.

Another reason that we may be seeing the drift away from church could be that we are so concerned with making our Christian faith cool, hip, and relevant. That might seem like a contradiction – after all, isn't the point of being "relevant" to reach out to the people who wouldn't normally be in church? Well, yes. But there is a serious danger in losing the essence of Christianity when we try to conform Christ and Scripture to the culture around us. Christ never called us to be popular or to give people a message that would be comfortable. His calling is a holistic, life-altering, radical, sacrificial and sometimes painful alternative to the ease around us. Our lives are to be totally and completely his – for whatever purpose He sees fit.

Sadly, when I look around at our comfortable Christian subculture it often looks like a less fun, more rules-oriented version of the world. And let's face it – why would someone make the effort to go to church to have a disingenuous and more constraining version of something that looks more genuine and fun?

When you start to add up these problems – and many more that I don't have time to go into – why would someone choose to spend a morning with "those" people when they could be sleeping in, hiking, camping, or just relaxing? (NOTE: coming from a person who skipped out on church last weekend for a camping trip, I'm not suggesting you're unspiritual if you occasionally trade in the pew-warming for a bonfire and communing with God in his amazing creation.)

Hopefully this will give you a place to start your thinking in these areas – and what we can do to change this trend."

Dawn Vargo is a bioethics analyst for Focus on the Family Action in Colorado Springs, Colorado.